Minding the gap between our desires and our reality

Many people wonder why there is such a big gap between the life they desire and the life they live. Why is their financial condition so far apart from their desired one? How come they are such friendly people and they have so few friends?

So many people living   a life that differs greatly from the life they seek. They are living a pale version of the life they want. They have financial difficulties, communication difficulties and a difficulty finding love. Most of them are full with love, talented and full of potential.

So how come they are not living they life they wished for themselves?

If we will take a good look on those that wish to improve themselves, we will notice one or more of the following symptoms:

  • Fear – most of the people I know carry with them a lot of fears. Fear of getting hurt. Fear of investing and losing that investment. Fear of rejection. They fear disappointment and fear of success. Who can honestly say he takes the time to check his fears and to find their origin? Most people take the opposite route and try to avoid any contact with their fears.
  • Self-criticism – ho, how much time and energy we invest, criticizing ourselves. We look hard to find where we made mistakes. We whip ourselves with criticism and with self-ridicule.
  • Difficulties in self-acceptanceself-acceptance is the ability to accept ourselves with all our faults and advantages. With our good qualities and with our bad ones.
  • Guilt – each one of us has his own personal “original sin”. The sin that makes us feel guilty. Maybe we were selfish, maybe we behaved badly. It doesn’t matter, we always find a reason to feel guilty. The guilt stops us from succeeding; after all, we are sinners and don’t deserve to be successful…

So how can we overcome all this and fill the gap between our desired life and the one we live?

The first step is to understand that the gap can be filled. It won’t be filled immediately but in small steps.

We should try to meet our fears. We need to understand their origin and cause. We should try to understand how this fear serves us. How it protects us. When we will know what needs it serves, we can let it go.

Instead of criticizing ourselves we need to emphasize the good things we managed to do. Let the spotlight focus on our good qualities and not our bad ones.

To overcome guilt, we must stop hiding the reason we feel guilty. We need to talk about it, maybe to write it down in our diary or blog.

now tell me in the comments – what is the gap in your life?