Confidence

confidence – we are always too short of confidence or have too much of it, but what is confidence anyway?

confidence has become one of those words that we use too much and understand too little. On this post, I will explain what is confidence and how he can make our lives better.

Wikipedia define confidence: “Confidence is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective”

on the site “psychology today” we can find a slightly different definition of confidence:”Confidence can be described as a belief in one’s ability to succeed. Striking a healthy balance can be challenging. Too much of it and you can come off as cocky and stumble into unforeseen obstacles, but having too little can prevent you from taking risks and seizing opportunities—in school, at work, in your social life, and beyond.” 

a certainty of our way is the cornerstone of success. When one has faith in oneself, one can fulfill his dreams and achieve his goals.

we can find confidence in many forms and shapes. Religious people are always very confident of Gods ability and strength. The never question the facts of his existence. The certainty of his existence, many time make the more confident in every aspect of life. Scientists use experiments result to acquire the confidence of their hypothesis.

it is very hard to predict if a certain individual will have a confidence or if he’s going to be more hesitant. The reason for this is that the same incidence can affect different people in different ways. The attempts to find a common ground of confident people always fails.

confidence’s main characteristics 

• embrace change – confident people don’t fear change, they embrace it. They understand that a change is a good thing. Change is a new birth and is unavoidable. Confident people have the assurance that they can overcome whatever difficulty that they will encounter.
• aware of their pitfalls – knowing your weaknesses is as important as knowing your strength. When you are aware of your weakness you can prepare to overcome it. You can find a way to avoid the obstacles that your weaknesses put in front of you.
• treat problems as challenges – you can treat your obstacles as problems, get stressed and let an anxiety take over you or you can treat an obstacle as a challenge that will help you grow a little when you overcome it. All of us encounter unforeseen obstacles, we can’t avoid it. We can only control the way we react to it. An event is only that – an event, we are the ones that interpreted it as a problem or a challenge.
• understand the process of decision-making– confident people know that there is no “right decision”. Every situation has more than one good decision to make.When you trust yourself, you know how to evaluate the situation and make a decision that suits you. You know that even when you make a mistake you can always fix it.
•  “cuiusvis hominis est errare” everyone can make a mistake –  we all make mistakes but confident people know that a mistake is a learning point. We must learn from our mistake in order to avoid them in the future. Some people bit themselves up when they make a mistake. They are wasting time on regrets and useless self-bitting. Confident people know that mistake are an unavoidable part of life.
• say their mind – confident people say their minds without hesitation. They do it not because they are positive they are right, but because they are not afraid to be wrong. When confident people are proven wrong they are secure enough to admit their mistake and to change their mind.
• avoid a useless argument – self-assured people don’t need to convince the other side of their rightness.  They have the conviction of their way and don’t need others approval in order to feel good about themselves. Therefore, they avoid useless arguments that lead nowhere. Nevertheless, when they are being asked the are not afraid to express an opposite opinion from the person in front of them.
• are not depend on others approval – we live in a society where the majority rules, this makes many people afraid to take the minority side. They want to be popular and be liked. Confident people are not part of the herd. They have faith in their opinions and don’t let others dictate their action or feeling. They don’t choose sides of the majority or the minority – they choose the side that is in line with their opinions.

types of confidence

• self-confidence – many times when people speak of confidence they are addressing self-confidence. self-confidence is by far the most important type of confidence. Many people spend their entire life trying to improve their self-confidence and self-esteem. Self-confidence by Wikipedia: “the concept self–confidence as commonly used is self-assurance in one’s personal judgment, ability, power, etc. One increases self–confidence from experiences of having mastered particular activities. It is a positive belief that in the future one can generally accomplish what one wishes to do.”  
• beliefs/religion- another common sort of confidence is the confidence that comes from our beliefs or religious beliefs. Peoples conviction makes them confident of their ways. This is the reason why it is an impossible mission convincing someone religious man to change his views.
• confidence that comes from experience – our experiences are what makes us well, us… The best way to have confidence in something is to try it out. After we experience something we know for sure what happened and we can have confidence that it would happen again. After we witnessed it with our own eye we are sure of it.
• confidence in others – well, it is not easy to trust someone else but when you have confidence in somebody else is a huge help. Don’t mistake confidence with dependency or weakness. Trusting someone doesn’t make you weaker. It just the opposite, it gives you confidence and you know that you can rely on some else. Having confidence with someone is like having a backup or an armor to protect you.
• social confidence – many people lack social confidence. They are shy and sometimes even have social phobia. Social confidence is the ability to speak in public. It is the ability to be an important member of a certain society. We all remember the popular student from school, the ones that everybody wanted to be friends with. What made them so popular? You guessed it right, they were social confident. Sometimes social confidence comes together with self-confidence, but not always. I have met with numbers people that had a high sense of self-confidence but were public shy and couldn’t speak to an audience.
• physical appearance – having confidence with your physical appearance is a very important quality. Researchers have shown that people who were confident with their appearance were more successful, they had self-confidence and greater self-esteem, and of course had a lot of success finding and sustaining relationships. There is a difference between having physical confidence and actually looking good. Many individuals have a great physical confidence while looking far apart from the conventional beauty. It does not matter if you are fat thin tall high etc, you can always have a high physical confidence.

low confidence

Many people have low confidence. There are many reasons for having low self confidence. here are some of the reasons:

• Low self-esteem as a result of poor self appearance –  many people don’t like their appearance. It doesn’t really matter if they look good or not. They feel too ugly or too fat or too thin. The reason is not really important, they just don’t feel good about their self. They think that everybody else thinks the same about their appearance, which causes them to feel awkward and have low confidence.
• Criticism – some people are exposed to constant criticism. Maybe it is from their parents or maybe from their friends or partners. Constant criticism can cause the most self confident guy to lose his confidence. Words have a way of messing with our brains. Many times our confidence is fragile, and criticism can break it down.
• Past failures – we all should learn from the past in order to have a better future, but sometimes the past can be a heavy weight on our shoulders. Our previous failures can make a good job bringing our self confidence down. We fear of making the same mistake once again, so we freeze and our confidence kisses the ground.
• Trauma – a trauma from past incidents can cause low confidence. being bullied, being physically or mentally abused can shred a person confidence into pieces.

simple ways to boost your confidence:

• STICK UP FOR YOURSELF. Instead of allowing others to overpower you, stand up for your rights
  and your beliefs.
• BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.Make the extra effort to look at yourself in the mirror and truly
  believe that you can accomplish anything
• ASK FOR HELP. Seek help from others when you’re struggling. Draw from the expertize of others when you lack the knowledge you need. The ability to admit you need help is a sign of strength
• PICK A NEW OUTFIT. Concentrate on your appearance. If you feel that you look good, you’ll begin to feel more confident with yourself on the inside too.
• THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS. Challenge yourself to think positive thoughts each and every day. If you stay positive, confidence will come.
• STOP NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. When negative thoughts enter your mind, notice them and replace them with more productive ones. Dwell on thoughts that lead you to success.
• PREPARE YOURSELF. Sometimes a lack of confidence comes from a lack of preparation. Ensure you properly prepare yourself for the challenges you face.
• FOCUS ON THE SMALLER THINGS. Tackle one thing at a time in a step-by-step fashion. Little by little, each success you experience builds a reservoir of confidence inside you.
• EXPRESS GRATITUDE. Express gratitude for the things that are important to you. You’ll experience renewed energy and enthusiasm.
• TAKE CONTROL. Choose to seize the steering wheel, instead of sitting in the passenger seat. Instead of letting life happen to you, live your life with purpose. Pretend you’re confident, and the feelings will follow
• GET TO KNOW YOURSELF. Delve deep and find out who you are. You’ll be better able to point out and work on your weaknesses. Your strengths will give you confidence.
• ENGAGE IN A KIND ACT. Do what you can to bring about more joy in the lives of others and enjoy the feeling it gives you.
• PRACTICE. Practice makes perfect. If you’re struggling at a task, keep trying until you get it right. This may take time, but the effort is worth it.
• RELAX. When you feel pressured to accomplish too much at once, slow down and take a few deep breaths. Sometimes, all it takes to feel confident is a few seconds to relax and refocus your mind.
• SMILE MORE FREQUENTLY. Put a smile on your face and you’ll be surprised at how you end up feeling as a result.
• LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE. Keep the bigger picture in mind as you attempt the trials of life. It will keep you from getting caught up on the smaller issues that detract from the important ones.
• CONCENTRATE ON YOUR SELF-IMAGE. Everyone has both strengths and weaknesses. Find out what you like about yourself and focus on enhancing those characteristics
• CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR. If you’re feeling down on yourself, change your approach. Continue to change your approach until you start getting the results you deserve.
• FIGHT BOREDOM. Sometimes a lack of confidence is simply a sign that it’s time to leave your comfort zone in favor of something more exciting
• STRIVE FOR EXCELLENCE INSTEAD OF PERFECTION. If you continue to try your best and change your approach when things seem to be headed in the wrong direction, your confidence will grow naturally.
• ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS. Learn how to accept compliments. People are likely being genuine with you and telling you what your strengths are.
• TRY HYPNOSIS. Hypnosis is a great way of communicating with your subconscious mind. Program your subconscious with productive thinking about your capabilities and strengths.
• START THE DAY RIGHT. Get everything off to the right start by getting into a positive mood right from the beginning of the day. Plan your day the night before and develop a morning routine. Get enough rest and eat a healthy breakfast.
• FAKE IT. Go through the motions of confidence even when you feel down in the dumps. You’ll be surprised how much more confident you feel when you pretend that you are.
• TALK TO YOURSELF. Use positive self-talk to boost your confidence. Use personal, positive, present-tense affirmations that speak words of encouragement to your heart and mind.